I want to take a moment to wish everyone in the Seeds community a Happy New Year and
share a few musings!
First, I’m grateful for this community! I’m not just saying that. Life has been every kind of
alarming weirdness and sadness–the stories we hold are different and also the same. The
critical nature of the environment – the globe and its inhabitants has increased in my
consciousness at the same time that my energy and capacity for MORE seems to decrease.
I’m still actively grieving the loss or decline of certain relationships, and keep asking God for
Grace and compassion and openness when I experience all the “lack” of any of those things, for
myself or others.
This fall in particular has held a lot of “juggling” – my dad’s health has declined a lot in this last
year and so I’ve prioritized weekly trips to Winnipeg to take some pressure off my mom, and just
spend time with them. It has been an extra “load” but honestly it has been mostly a treasured
gift. One of the reasons for that gift is that my mom and I are transposing my grandmother’s
diary. It is written in German and is full of stories and anecdotes of fleeing Russia, dealing with
bed bugs, Russian bandits threatening their lives, and unbelievable dependence on God to be
with them through it all. My dad has always been the storyteller, but this last year has really
affected his ability to communicate without becoming overwhelmed and exhausted. As hard as
that is to watch, it has opened up stories with my mom, who has always had difficulty in sharing
her childhood stories.
It’s been a big year in our family as well – our son Micah got engaged to Elaina (they are
planning a 2022 summer wedding), and Micah is applying to graduate studies all over the U.S.,
UK, and 2 places in Canada. Some major changes come their way…and ours.
Annika has navigated a lot during the last few years. She is a musician at heart, who also
nanny’s for 2 kids a few times a week. They all live in the city and I’ll take that closeness for
Supporting our adult kids through a ton of challenges these last few years has meant the world
to me. Suffering is not an option – and all 3 of my kids (see what I did there?!!) are my biggest
teachers right now in how they walk through all manner of things thrown their way.
Well I guess this has become a full on “Christmas letter” except in the new year.
I have no idea what’s ahead, for you, for me, for us. Hope is rooted in what I remember (that we
are loved, that we are able to access Great Love)…so I remain ferociously hopeful for the future.
I don’t see all of you as much as I want to or need to, but please know I am filled with love for
Seeds – and the people within it (whether you used to be here, are here now, or are once in a
while here). Let’s see what Great Love we can encounter this year!